I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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