I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
