i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The air taste purple.
Randomize