i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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