It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
