Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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