I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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