you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
