Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
