I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
