Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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