He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize