those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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