dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
where does the pee come out of this thing
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize