i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
