So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We just shotgunned beers for America
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize