I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
