I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
