dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
