im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
