There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
