We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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