Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
