I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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