dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
