i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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