I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize