We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize