so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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