I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
