they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize