Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize