I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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