so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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