How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
