i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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