Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
