Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
