69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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