Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize