Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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