Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize