im six kinds of drunk right now
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
