Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
