But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
