Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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