WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
