there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
