Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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