i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
