no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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