Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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