i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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