that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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