dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize