I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize