I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
