Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize