It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
