Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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