Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
