Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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